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Lapsed 10x Medium Top Writer With The Emails To Prove It | Follow Me and My Publication, Laughing Stock | JLMatthewsWrites@gmail.com

Because; you dont need it

Illustration by Gillian Henderson

Writings hard. We all know this. But today its important to remember that learning writing is more important than just putting words into an “Artificial Inteligence Program’ that will tell you, you’re writings good.

I edit my own work, I proofread, my own work. Sometimes, for important work, I have my writing mentor check for places where I can improve, my work. He will check for dangling modifiers, split infinitives, subject/verb agreement. He always sends it back real fast and says, “looks good”, so I know my work is good.


Not me, but close. Image Credit: George Rudy / ShutterStock

Not to brag, but I’m awesome at virtual kindergarten.

I love this idea and format. I must credit Zulie Rane, Danny Forest, and Violet Daniels, who, as far as I’m aware, came up with it. Also, a shout out and thanks to Quy Ma and Jennifer Marie. “About Me Stories” is a wonderful way to foster a sense of community, and I’m thrilled to learn more about my fellow Medium dwellers!

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Bio

Hi! I’m JL Matthews. I’m about forty years old and happily-married. …


Image Credit: Real Moment / ShutterStock

I’m probably only partially responsible…

If you got the $500, congrats. I’m thrilled for you. I hope you find a terrific way to spend the dough.

Perhaps you should invest your windfall in The World’s Most Useful Cooler, or This Gordon Ramsey Knife Set, or, my personal favorite, These Kangaroo Jumping Stilts.

Make your selection and report back (I’d love to see the Jumping Stilts in action).

But please, spare us the humblebrags.

You can also forgo the speculation on why Medium has finally seen the light and recognized your unique genius.

The first — and most important — reason to stay humble is that…


“Media Guest of Honor — Joel Hodgson” by ZombyLuvr is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Crowdfunding comes through again

It’s one of those things: Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Either you get it, or you don’t.

For those of us who are ‘MSTies’ or ‘Mysties,’ the title brings to mind our favorite characters, episodes, and riffs.

The show probably seems a bit strange for the rest of society: a paper-thin premise, a ‘host’ dressed in an unusual jumpsuit, and some odd-looking puppets.

And, of course, it’s all centered around an idea that seems destined for failure: watching terrible old movies.

Yet, we MSTies would have it no other way.

Which is so exciting that this franchise is officially coming back


Image Credit: Cesare Andrea Ferrari / ShutterStock

An email from a concerned parent

Dear Principal Sandberg,

As you are undoubtedly aware, my daughter is enrolled in Mrs. Brown’s Kindergarten class at Walter’s Ridge Elementary. I’m sure that you would agree that Mrs. Brown’s prolonged absence over the past four weeks has presented numerous challenges to her students, who were accustomed to her cheerful attitude and energetic renditions of “days of the week.”

Now, I am not one to complain, notwithstanding my recent complaints about the sluggish flow of traffic in the carpool line, the length of the kids’ lunch break, and my well-documented issues with the school mascot, “Skippy” the sailor.

However, I…


Image Credit: Nicoleta Ionescu / Shutterstock

What You Need to Know About Tree Reproduction

If you, like me, are the proud parent to several saplings that will soon be ‘coming of age,’ it’s time to consider how you will guide your young ones through this new, exciting, but often complicated stage of life.

It’s called ‘The Pollening’ — the transitional period between life as a sapling and a fully mature, adult tree.

We’ve all seen its effects:

  • A rapid growth spurt
  • Mood swings
  • A newfound urge to gawk at exotic trees with little — or no — foliage

Not to mention, POLLEN, POLLEN, POLLEN. You’ll find it EVERYWHERE! And in the strangest of places!


A Lithograph of the Peacemaker Explosion, N. Currier (firm), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

The Story of Love, Death, and Politics Aboard the USS Princeton

It was a Wednesday, February 28th, 1844. The weather was unexpectedly warm, what one guest later called “almost a summer sky.” Dignitaries from all over Washington had gathered for a pleasant, peaceful cruise down the Potomac.

Most considered the trip a brief distraction from official duties, a bit of pomp to celebrate America’s growing military might.

Yet, when the ship returned a few hours later, some passengers would be dead, others would be in love, and the course of United States history would be forever changed.

The Ship


The history behind Kronia, Saturnalia, and Lupercalia.

Image by Joanna Maitland from Pixabay

Kronia / Saturnalia / Christmas

The Greek festival of Kronia, held in summer, celebrated the mythical utopia known as ‘The Golden Age’ when Cronus ruled Earth.

The Greeks celebrated Kronia by recreating aspects of the Golden Age. Owners released their slaves from household chores, invited them to sup at their table, and played dice and other games of chance.

The Romans, who derived much of their culture from the Greeks, adopted and modified the festival. They called the holiday ‘ Saturnalia’, after the Roman god, Saturn.

Instead of celebrating during harvest time, the Romans observed Saturnalia during the winter solstice week in December.

For the…


Image Credit: Syda Productions / ShutterStock

What is a ‘Secondary Offering’?

“The markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.”

-John Maynard Keynes

For those that aren’t aware, Gamestop (NYSE: GME), the video-game retailer, has seen its stock soar from $5 to $500 in the last few weeks.

Some people — mostly novice traders — have made a ton of money.

Many of them, working in concert on social media, intend to ‘take GME to the moon’.

Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that this story will end well.

Why?

There are many reasons, but perhaps the one that will shock and anger the online legions of Gamestop’s supporters the most is…

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