Volume One
There’s no doubt about it — something was in the air in 1994.
Michael Jordan had given up basketball for baseball, the first White House website was launched, and someone totally framed O.J. Simpson for killing his ex-wife.
Now, there’s an excellent case that 1994 was the pinnacle for several forms of entertainment: film, television, and, in a perverse way, even sports.
But of all the wild things happening in ’94, the music stood out.
Notorious B.I.G., Oasis, Hootie and the Blowfish, Dave Matthews Band, Usher, Korn, Outkast, Brandy, Beck, Cake, Ben Harper, Jimmy Eat World, Marilyn Manson, and Portishead…
Not to brag, but I’m awesome at virtual kindergarten.
I love this idea and format. I must credit Zulie Rane, Danny Forest, and Violet Daniels, who, as far as I’m aware, came up with it. Also, a shout out and thanks to Quy Ma and Jennifer Marie. “About Me Stories” is a wonderful way to foster a sense of community, and I’m thrilled to learn more about my fellow Medium dwellers!
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Bio
Hi! I’m JL Matthews. I’m about forty years old and happily-married. …
Satire
It’s not for the faint of heart
It all started this morning.
I was about to put on my shoes and head out the door.
I’ll read one Medium article before I go, I thought.
So I fired up the good ol’ laptop, and there it was:
Like a kid on Christmas morning, I rushed to the Medium Partner Program page to see what, if anything, Jolly Saint Ev left me under the tree.
A new dictionary explains what the ancient Greeks REALLY meant.
George Carlin had a classic bit on euphemisms.
In his routine, Carlin mocked the use of substitutions, genteelisms, and acronyms that hide “simple, honest, direct language.”
He describes how “shell shock became PTSD”, “Toilet paper became bathroom tissue”, and “false teeth became dental appliances.”
So, it would please George to hear that the ancient Greek dictionary is getting an update — with plenty of simple, dirty words.
As reported here in The Guardian, “the new English dictionary of ancient Greek ‘spares no blushes.’”
That puts it mildly.
Take, for example, the verb ‘chezo’.
The 1889 Intermediate Greek-English Lexicon defined it…
I was reading a post today on Medium.
I enjoyed the story; it was a good read. So, I decided to give the author my standard 25 claps, and ‘the coin of the realm’ here on Medium — a follow.
I scrolled to the bottom of the post and clicked on a button next to the author’s picture.
Then it dawned on me.
I had just unfollowed them.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this. But it happens way too often. (My apologies to Kyrie Gray— I know I’ve made this mistake with her at least twice)
…
I do not think it means what you think it means.
Little things bother me.
Like when the kids leave their shoes in the middle of the floor instead of putting them in the ‘shoe’ box.
Or my wife not removing the tag before placing a new doormat in the foyer.
Or the dog eating — and then throwing up — the sparkly fabric wings from her ‘lovebug’ toy.
Maybe it’s my OCD flaring up, but this sort of thing gets to me.
So, it should come as no surprise that I get agitated with language too.
My most recent irritant?
Empathy.
I see this word everywhere:
How Do You Teach…
Variety is the spice of life.
Ah, Medium faces.
Don’t know what I mean?
If you log into Medium on a desktop computer, you do. There are always eight profile pictures (I like to call them faces) that appear in the Latest From Following section over on the right side of the screen.
Three from old friends, three from new voices.
One of the joys of knowing a place well is that you notice when it changes. A fresh coat of paint on your neighbor’s house might catch your eye; some updated décor at your favorite restaurant might charm (or bother) you.
As I pointed out in my post about Medium’s recent bonus bonanza, things are changing around here. Hopefully for the better.
One way to help this process along is to cheer on other writers.
So here’s my attempt to do that: six posts from six different writers. Some I know (Old Friends) and some I don’t (New Voices).
Read…
The subliminal message behind each picture.
Neon Sign With a Platitude
This is a self-help post full of bombastic clichés. The phrase “What you can conceive, you can achieve” will appear at least once.
I’m probably only partially responsible…
If you got the $500, congrats. I’m thrilled for you. I hope you find a terrific way to spend the dough.
Perhaps you should invest your windfall in The World’s Most Useful Cooler, or This Gordon Ramsey Knife Set, or, my personal favorite, These Kangaroo Jumping Stilts.
Make your selection and report back (I’d love to see the Jumping Stilts in action).
But please, spare us the humblebrags.
You can also forgo the speculation on why Medium has finally seen the light and recognized your unique genius.
The first — and most important — reason to stay humble is that…
